dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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