You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
