bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
