Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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