your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
