stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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