it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
