I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
