I want to have your abortion
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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