how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
