New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
