She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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