she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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