I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
His hands were made for my vagina.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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