Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
