No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
bring money and cleavage
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i came on her dog
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
