Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize