I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
