video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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