How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
