Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
