Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i believe in u and ur pee
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
