omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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