um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
