My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
