Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
