just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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