and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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