literally had 100 drinks last night.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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