Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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