Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
