My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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