how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
