Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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