Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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