Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
