Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
