I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
