while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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