kristin has been a bad kristin
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
