What a fucking waste of an outfit
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
