69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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