"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
NoShamevember. You game?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
