First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He passed out mid-signature
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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