hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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