the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She bit a glass in half.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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