We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
