you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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