at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
