Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
